It's that time of every two years again

It's time for the political advertisements. It seems that at peak times, they take up about half of all ads during a commercial break. You'd think that having to watch 50% fewer real ads would be a good thing, but here is a list of things I would rather do than watch political advertisements:

1. Drink bleach.
2. Eat bleach (You imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it!)
3. Hug a cactus.
4. Fornicate with a cactus.
5. Cultivate my own foie gras (i.e. my own) and sell it on ebay.
6. Sleep in an iron maiden.
7. Listen to Iron Maiden (jk, I don't even know any of their songs, but it was a funny progression)
8. Play the victim on any Law & Order: SVU episode. IRL.
9. Try to shoot myself in the head with a nail gun and not realize it for ten years.
10. Go through the telepods in "The Fly" before they were perfected.

And so on.... They are all bad, but what is particularly hilarious is that, at least here in New Jersey, I haven't seen any ads for any particular Republicans! All the ads for republicans take aim at a particular democrat, but do not actually endorse any specific republican! The only logical conclusion is that the RNC believes that showing their candidates' faces will actually hurt their chances. At any rate, how am I supposed to feel motivated to go out and vote when all I want to do is punch these politicians in the collective face? (and zoom a zoom zoom and a boom boom)

Pet Peeve #0x23b4a

For this installment of Thrillho's Pet Peeves, I bring you the following: throwing your cigarette butt (or anything else, for that matter, but particularly butts) out of your car window. Why? Why would anyone do it? I can hypothesize a few reasons.


1. Putting the butt in the ashtray will make the car smell like cigarette smoke.

2. There is no ashtray in the car.

3. The individual under question either does not realize that his/her actions have direct and indirect effects on other people and places, or he/she knows this but either doesn't care, or derives some sort of pleasure from doing it anyway.

4. It is too much of a hassle to have to clean out the ashtray once it gets full.

5. It's cool to show the world that you know how to flick your butt nonchalantly out your car window.



In my opinion (of course), not one of these is valid. If 1, tough. If you want to smoke, fine, but don't keep your own personal environment clean at the expense of everyone else's. If 2, then get a freakin' ashtray. If 3, wake up. If 4, see 1. If 5, see 3. This is not 1985 anymore.

Stay tuned for next week's installment: "Driving to the end of the extra lane when merging onto a highway before actually merging, just to get a few cars ahead."

Why do they do this every time?

Okay, a plane crashes into a building and you, a news station, want to help people understand exactly what happened, so you make a little "virtual re-enactment" complete with 3d buildings. Okay. However, is it really necessary in your virtual re-enactment to have a virtual explosion, and virtual flames shooting out of the virtual apartments? I submit, no. Besides, if you're going to go that route, you may as well make it complete. Where is the virtual passport fluttering down to the ground? Where is the virtual distress call?

Flickr? I hardly know'er!

Here are a few pictures from my Flickr site I just started.



This bunny rabbit was only about 10 feet away; apparently we didn't frighten him/her.



This is a black-throated green warbler (not a guarantee). It's amazing how easy it is to identify warblers when you can take a picture home and do it there. It's dark because the exposure time was 1/500s, which is fortunate, because otherwise it would have been much more blurry.



These turkeys were in the path ahead of us, but as we got closer they wandered into the woods. Don't worry, turkeys, it's not November yet!

Oh yeah, by the way, the site is Here. Of course, if you're reading this, then you probably know about it already.

It's Been so Long!

Anyway, there is a current CNN.com article (Side note: why do I still read CNN.com?) with the headline "Bush plans conference on school shooting." In a surpise move, I have been given in advance the transcript of this conference (let's assume it's a press conference, okay? This is satire.) It follows.

"We have seen in these past weeks horrendous tragedies unfold in schools across the country. It used to be the case that we would find it shocking that this kind of tragedy would occur at a nice, wealthy, suburban high school. And now, this has happened at none other than an Amish school. There is no less likely school where we would expect this kind of thing to happen. There is only one explanation: the terrorists have infiltrated us to our core. This calls for swift and decisive action. I am the decider. And the Actioner. Effective immediately, metal detectors will be installed at all Amish schoolhouses, along with armed guards. Liquids will also not be permitted inside Amish schoolhouses. Amish folks will be required to purchase televisions and watch them so that they are kept aware of the latest terrorism developments and how best to do their part to protect Amurica. The safety of our nation is more important than the Amish way of shunning electricity.

"Also effective immediately, I am creating a new Department of Amish Homeland Security. Heading this department will be Rep. Mark Foley, and he is the only man capable of this important job, so everyone must give him their unrelenting support. Finally, as a last necessary measure, we will be requiring all Amish men to be clean-shaven, because you can't spot a terrorist as easily in a group of bearded men. Similarly, we will be requiring that all Amish women grow thick beards, as a terrorist woman would never grow a beard (hence, of course, any clean-shaven women left over must be terrorists. Simple and effective!)"

Wow! Such controversy! I can't wait to read about this controversy on CNN.com!